New Poem: “Coming Attractions”

Yesterday I suddenly had the urge to write about my future. After going through this struggle with my old coping skills, I began to think of all the reasons I didn’t want to go back there, all of things that I want to be and do in life– and if I went back to my eating disorder, I wouldn’t be able to. I wanted to really articulate the things I want, put those intentions out there. Someone once told me that whatever you place your intention and focus on in life, those are the things that are going to grow– I’ve found that to be true. “Happiness” and “success” can seem like unattainable goals. But I think that depends entirely on how you define those words. To me, happiness and success mean recovery, good relationships, and meaningful work.  I used to think I had to be or do some thing grand and brilliant to be successful; then it occurred to me that I was defining success through other people’s eyes. Now I understand that I am the only one who can determine what makes me feel happy and accomplished. And the same goes for everyone else.

I hope every one of you gets to that place.

 

6/16/11

 

Coming Attractions

 

After all that I’ve missed, and all that I’ve lost

Disorders that came at a near-fatal cost

 

Family and friends that have fallen away

Except for the stubborn, God bless them, who stayed

 

The traumas and dramas, the chaos and tears

Memories of abuse that stained my childhood years

 

In therapy I worked hard and I fought

And I gained the peace that I’d always sought

 

This set me free to make new goals and plans

My future is now in the palm of my hand

 

There are so many things I want to be in life

A nurse, an author, a mother, a wife

 

I want to help people, I want my degree

I want to find someone who loves me for me

 

 

I want to travel as much as I can

Rock out at concerts for my favorite bands

 

Go to the theater and the ballet

Be captivated by a well-written play

 

Marvel and muse at great works of art

Take poetry in with my ears and my heart

 

Author a book and publish for real

Have critics and readers both love it with zeal

 

Adopt at least two kids who need a good home

Mother them just as if they were my own

 

Move back to my hometown, buy a nice house

Have a great job and great kids and a loving spouse

 

I guess these are the same things we all desire

A contentment and comfort to which we aspire

 

This thing we call “happiness”— different for all

On the path to this place there are leaps and are falls

 

But the lucky ones eventually will find a way

Not only to get there, but also to stay

 

© Sarah Ann Henderson 2011

 

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About writingforrecovery

Sarah is a writer and poet who speaks out about issues that make people uncomfortable. Sarah advocates for causes such a sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse, and mental illness, and often speaks openly about her own experiences. She is determined to abolish the stigma associated with these issues and believes that it starts with people telling their stories, so she started a blog called Writing for Recovery where people can do just that. She is the author of three volumes of poetry and is currently at work on her fourth. She is convinced that there's a novel somewhere in her, and occasionally picks at the chapters so far. View all posts by writingforrecovery

One response to “New Poem: “Coming Attractions”

  • Leslie Robin Neshama

    Hi Sarah – Good Morning. So good to read this poem. I think back, not too long ago, when your work was so filled with agony and pain. This comparison provides ample proof that recovery is possible, like “night and day”, “then and now”…..you have survived terrible things, and you are growing and thriving. I am so happy for you.
    Right now, my own challenge is overcoming binge eating. I want to be able to choose a healthful diet, no matter what the people around me are eating.
    You poetry reminds me that I have to recover for My Self.
    Bless you, Sarah.

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