I Am Your Disease, I am your Recovery

Hello everyone, I hope you’re having a good Recovery Month!. I wanted to share with you a piece that I wrote quite awhile ago, and I didn’t even think to share for this month, but I was reminded today by someone who posted a link to a memorial site on the WfR Facebook page. Under the description of the site is a fairly well-known piece of writing by Sumeet Gunti entitled “I Am Your Disease.” It’s kind of a resume for addiction; it describes how addiction “thinks” and what it wants. It’s disturbing, appropriately so. What I’ve never seen, however, is an answer to this. A resume for Recovery. So, clearly, I had to write one. Here are both pieces, Gunti’s and mine, back to back. I hope I did an adequate job of telling Addiction where it can go. 

I AM YOUR DISEASE

I hate meetings.

I hate Higher Power.

I hate anyone who has a Twelve Step program.

To all who come in contact with me,

I wish you death and I wish you suffering.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am the Disease of Addiction.

Cunning, baffling, and Powerful.

That’s me.

I have killed millions, and I am pleased.

I love to catch you with the element of surprise.

I love pretending I am your friend and lover.

I have given you comfort, have I not?

Wasn’t I there when you were lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me?

I was there. I love to make you hurt.

Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry.

You can’t feel anything at all.

This is true Glory.

I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long term suffering.

I’ve always been there for you.

When things were going right in your life, you invited me.

You said you didn’t deserve these good things and I was the only one who would agree with you.

Together we were able to destroy all the things good in your life.

People don’t take me seriously.

I do not come uninvited.

You choose to have me.

So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me,

I hate all of you who have a 12 step program.

Your program, your meeting, your higher power:

All weaken me and I can’t function in the manner I am accustomed to.

Now I must lie here quietly.

You don’t see me.

But I am growing, bigger than ever.

WHEN YOU ONLY EXIST, I MAY LIVE.

WHEN YOU LIVE, I ONLY EXIST.

But I am here.

Until we meet again,

If we meet again,

I WISH YOU DEATH

AND I WISH YOU SUFFERING!!

By Sumeet Gunti

I am your RECOVERY

I love life

I love beauty

I love joy

I love anyone who supports my existence in you

To all who come in contact with me

I wish you health and happiness

Allow me to introduce myself

I am RECOVERY from self-destruction

Alive, wonderful, empowering

That’s me

I have saved millions, and I am overjoyed

I love to hold you in reverie

I love to be your friend and kind attendant

I have helped you learn to comfort yourself

And you do not feel alone anymore

We are one on your path to life

I am here

I love to see you smile

I love to hear your voice

Better yet, I love to see you feel a full range of emotions, knowing that you can handle them

You can feel and love deeply

This is true Grace

I will give you contentment and all I ask is commitment

I will always be there for you

When things were going wrong in your life, you invited me

You said, I DESERVE GOOD THINGS and I agreed with you

Together, we are able to create all the good things in your life

When you are fully committed to me, you will be taken seriously

Like self-destruction, I do not come uninvited

You have to choose me

So many have chosen me to find reality and peace

More than you love me

I love all of you who support me

Your love, your faith, your kindness

All strengthen me and I work better than I thought possible

Now I must reach out to you

You will see me

I am growing, and self-destruction is fading away

Only when I exist will you live

Only when you live, may you thrive

I am here

I’m not going anywhere

I wish you strength and inner peace

And all the joy the world has to offer

By Sarah Henderson

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About writingforrecovery

Sarah is a writer and poet who speaks out about issues that make people uncomfortable. Sarah advocates for causes such a sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse, and mental illness, and often speaks openly about her own experiences. She is determined to abolish the stigma associated with these issues and believes that it starts with people telling their stories, so she started a blog called Writing for Recovery where people can do just that. She is the author of three volumes of poetry and is currently at work on her fourth. She is convinced that there's a novel somewhere in her, and occasionally picks at the chapters so far. View all posts by writingforrecovery

4 responses to “I Am Your Disease, I am your Recovery

  • Janet Gardner

    Great Post, I’m so glad I found your site! I also advocate for the same causes on my Stigma No More Blog. Stop by and check it out sometime. I look forward to visiting again!
    Take Care,
    Janet 🙂

  • Sandy

    I almost cried when I read this post. There are so many people out there that doesn’t understand our disease and how important recovery is. It can be quite upsetting. I am so glad I found your site!!!

  • CECILIA

    THIS IS A VERY REAL AND PAINFUL DISEASE.AND THIS IS JUST ONE OF THE SO MANY… I AM GLAD I HAVE FOUND THE PROGRAM AND THROUGH THAT A NEW LIFE.THIS POEM WAS THE FIRST THING THAT KIND OF STUCK IN MY HEAD IN THE BEGINNING, AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THE HAIR STOOD UP ON MY BACK.LISTENING TO IT.IT WAS REALLY LIKE THE PROMISE OF THE EVIL..GOD BLESS US ALL… CECILIA

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